I had denied him his request of my ass a few hours earlier, he would probably make me do it for him whenever we met up again. Derek was playing mind games with me, he was running circles around me, but deep down I loved it. I loved the dangerous element that was between us, the secrecy made it all the more fun. While I may have loved it, I hated it also. I hated what I was putting myself through and I hated that I was betraying Bryan. True to my word I made it up to Bryan the next day. It was more for my peace of mind than it was for him. I needed to get over the guilt and the bad feelings of my betrayal and what I was doing, I needed to reassure myself that I was still a good wife and that I was still a good person. But afterwards I still felt guilty and I still felt terrible. The feelings just resurfaced all over again. I then remembered that we would be having dinner with Derek, his treat. While it was his treat, I was certain that he would make me repay him in some way. He would. ..you couldn't see anything at all unless you lit up a smoke. But I remember it being very comfortable lying on the beans. Just like sitting a giant bean bag....and I also remember being really buzzed. The mescaline was kicking in, and I had a complete body high going on. My buddy and his brother were listening to the dogs barking, and could tell that one of their news dogs had started to chase a deer ...they could tell by his bark I guess....anyway...they had to go get him before the deer run him so far away they would lose him....so they those two took off after the dog and told me and the older guy if they weren't back in 20 to 30 minutes just to meet them back at the truck....so he I am...high as kite, laying in this silo that is completely dark...you can't even see your hand in front of your face....with some 40 year old guy I didn't know that well. As I laid there we really weren't talking much ...we had agreed to just hang out and wait for the guys to get back...as we're.
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