I couldn’t, really, but I let myself feel the pleasant aspects of it: the warmth of her body, the softness of her skin, and the feeling of her breath on the back of my head. At some point I felt her move a little, and begin to stroke my thigh with her bare foot. It felt almost as if she were treading on me, and I admit I was too embarrassed to say anything about it, so I pretended I was still asleep. I wasn’t sure if she was awake herself until she talked.“Good morning, Amanda”, she said in a sing-song quiet voice.Not wanting to make it obvious I was awake, I just gave a little moan and shifted around a bit, still constrained by Fiona’s body.She chuckled and started stroking my hair with one of her hands, while the other, resting on my chest, explored me with her fingertips. Her foot was still touching my thigh. It all felt a little bit too intimate and overwhelming, though she wasn’t groping my breasts or anything. It made me feel soft and warm inside, but I wasn’t sure I wanted it. Laura's body slumped against me. I cried.Several minutes must have passed without a thought coming to mind, me holding Laura's body and weeping. But when I realized I was feeling sorry for myself, selfishly for my own loss, it revived me enough to make me assess what had just happened. I looked around and tried to get my bearings. The car was stuffy so I started the engine and the air conditioning came back on.Somewhat revived, I propped Laura up, buckled her seatbelt and adjusted her seat into the reclining position. She looked peaceful, drawn and frail but calm. Her eyes were closed. God, how I loved her! I should be doing something but what? Should I call and cancel the ambulance? Should I drive her body directly to the funeral home? Would it be accepted without a doctor's declaration that she was really dead? I didn't know.I phoned Rosita because, deep down I knew it would be easier than telling her in person and because I needed to talk to someone. She went to pieces, blaming.
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