You’re not two!’ Turning their backs on him, they leave him to sink into the depths, alone. *** Breath exploding from his lungs again, he screams this time, lunging upwards and into the waking world. The blonde (Jen, her name is Jen) is startled awake, and the brunette (your name is Fiona. it. is. Fiona) is drawn back to consciousness by his weeping. As lucidity finally came back to him, Jahn told them about the nightmares, the sense of self-destructive failure that encompassed each of them, the loss and confusion, the fear. Anxiety and fear of the future, Fiona had told him reasonably, her slender fingers and light kisses a balm on his tear-stained face. They express what you feel, they do not define you. Jen simply hugged him tightly, her smooth cheek a tonic on his chest, told him he’d make a great father, and that he’d have her to look forward to for the rest of his life. Descending back into the realm of sleep, his dreams were sweet once more. *** November rained announcements. At the door, I knew I would have to show my driver's licence and pay the £15 cover for u******e patrons. I was prepared for all this because I had practically memorized the club’s website. What I wasn’t prepared for was the beating in my chest, the wads of cotton that seemed inexplicably to be filling my mouth, and the sudden sweatiness of my palms.The woman checking for IDs lazily reached for mine. Suddenly my fingers wouldn’t work. My hands seemed to have grown three sizes, or maybe my wallet shrunk three but either way my fingers were tripping all over each other and then as if in slow motion I could see my wallet tumbling out of my hands in a swan dive for the ground before landing with a thud and spilling its contents across the floor. I could feel my cheeks flushing as I knelt down to scoop up my credit cards and receipts splayed out on the carpet. So much for playing it cool.When I finally made it into the club, I was no less intimidated. There were people everywhere – and they.
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