The hour had grown late and my tossing and turning was keeping my wife from sleeping. I was still quite awake and fantasizing about what I'd have done then if I'd had knowledge of the future. I pondered over and over how, even if it were possible, changing the past would obliterate my present. I had no desire to lose my wife or family, and felt bad for even entertaining thoughts of "what if" and fantasies about an ex who wasn't even an ex! What had happened between Ruth and I was woven into the tapestry of who and what sort of man I was today. I wouldn't change that for a second.Yet my mind persisted, wondering what might have been if I'd only realized that Ruth was scared of physical intimacy. She was afraid of losing me as a friend if we didn't carry our relationship further, and had told me as much when I confessed my feelings of love for her. Ruth had become dependent, almost addicted, to our special brand of friendship with benefits. Did she live in constant fear that I would one. Then it was time for the bra, a white strapless one. I put my arms in then clasped it together behind my back, then stopped quickly to admire myself in the mirror. It felt so sexy to see myself there, naked except for a strapless bra and panties, with my erect penis sticking proudly out of the top of the panties.Then it was the dress. Because the material of the dress was so thin, almost see-through, she had been wearing a white satin underskirt with lace trim. I pulled it on, marvelling at the silky feel of the material against my legs.And then the dress proper. The zip at the back was right down as far as it would go, so I held it in my hands by the thin shoulder straps and stepped into it. A bit of adjusting of the underskirt and I was able to pull it up over my legs and hips and right up to my chest, and with shaking hands pull the straps up over my arms, and onto my shoulders. I put my hands behind my back and managed to pull the zip right up to the top of the dress. It looked so.
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