I opened the door and was amazed to see the new neighbours standing there. They introduced themselves as Dan and Louise (or Lou as she wanted to be calleD. She said that after living here for a month it was about time they invited neighbours to a house warming that weekend. She added we have seen so much of you (a reference to my wank in the window) but have not had the chance to meet and finished by telling me that the house warming would be a BBQ starting at 7pm.I told Pete and he was all for it. I had a really loose Summer dress that I wanted to wear that would enable me to flash if I had the chance.Saturday came and in typical Welsh weather fashion it poured with rain. At about mid day Lou called at the house to say the house warming was going ahead but would now take place inside. She smlied and her eyes lit up by adding that it would enable her to wear a really daring little number for her neighbours to enjoy. I wondered what she meant but decided I would also dresso kill.Pete. She was licking my balls with a fury I had rarely seen before today. She kept at it for at least five minutes even though I asked her to stop. I grabbed my long hard shaft and turned toward her, threatening her with it. "How the hell am I going to improve my pitching wedge if that fucking collie won't take my practice balls out of her mouth?" I wondered. I have a big tournament this weekend... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #2: I spread apart those well turned legs looking for that divine honey pot that I knew was sure to be there. My practiced eye traveled up one leg until I spotted it. Sure enough, "Miller's Honey Box" was stamped on the side and I knew I had found another antique treasure from the 1920's. The sturdy little piece of furniture had stood quietly in the back of the store... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.)Which brings me to my.
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