"You don't need that crap," I told him. I turned him to face me and punched him in the chest.Jeez he was big! It was like punching a wall."What you need is in here," I said, punching his chest again. "And here." I thumped his forehead. "And maybe down here!" I grabbed his crotch, bruising my fingers on his protective cup for my troubles.He was rocked back on his heels. Here he was, in full football armor, being accosted by a naked, painted girl half his size. I tried to think of some way to motivate him. Then I thought of one."You want me, Freschetti?" I asked, standing back, hands on my naked hips, feet spread so he could see all of me in my naked, painted glory. "You really want me? Come on, you've been after me to get your rocks off all week. You want me?"He stood there and I swear he started to drool."Well you'll never get me by bullying or intimidation. You'll have to earn me, Freschetti," I told him, quailing inside even as I said it."How?" he growled.I pushed close to him, into. I knew too, from having worked with her before, that she had the personality of a rasp; the only reason she was up there was that she also had a voice like a trumpet, which is what the role calls for. Meantime Calaf has Camilla St. John, our Gilda in Rigoletto who's now singing a slave girl named Liu, absolutely drooling for him and he doesn't give her a second glance. Hmm, drop-dead gorgeous girl who loves me versus porker princess who thinks all men suck, now which should I pick? Gee, Mr. Interlocutor, that's a tough one, can't you start me off with an easier question?Well, the stereotype is that tenors are dumb as oxes, so maybe this fits.Anyhow, with a new production coming up they'd be having half-voice rehearsals a good part of the day, but that was only for principals. Us second-tier folks weren't needed. The real point was that if they called me they'd have to pay me, and they didn't want to do that if they didn't have to. Opera never pays its own way; even at ticket prices.
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