"Your girl lessons start today. Now get into the bathroom. After yourshower I will dress you up and see what I have to work with. From nowon, until the wedding next month, you are a girl." No way! I am not gonna do it. I am not gonna be a bridesmaid. It is astupid idea and I will not put on a dress for anyone!"My stepmom was a big woman. Not fat, but tall and broad, even biggerthan my dad and me. She grabbed my arm and in one motion was sitting onmy bed with me lying across her lap. She pulled down my pajama bottomsand proceeded to spank me. I kicked my legs and screamed and was sooncrying and begging her to stop."Now, are you going to do as I tell you or shall I continue spankingyou?" I will do as you ask," I cried.She took me into the bathroom and ordered me to strip."But mom, not in front of you." You don't have anything I haven't seen before. We don't have time forany of your silly games. Remove your pajamas now!"I recognized the implied threat and as embarrassed as I had ever. ? I jerk with thepure terror in her voice, in a voice I hadn't heard in so long.? I sit dumbfounded as her body lunges upwards;her arms reaching out to claw and scratch at the light that is now surroundingher, at the sunlight filtering through the trees. "Noooooooo!!!? Go away!!!??Help me!!!!? Helpme!!!!!"? Ragged cries and sobs echothrough the garden, bounce off the potted trees I had brought in, carom off the dewy soft petals of the roses, red ones,yellow ones, coral ones.? The flowersshake in the force of her cries, of her pained and pitiful moans. I sit there but a moment,then reach forward quickly and put my arms around her.? She flails and her tiny hands beat at me,pound on my arms as her eyes squint and her face puckers.? And through it all...those haunting words,those agonized screams..."Help me!!!?Nooooo!!!?Go away!!!!"? I whisper in her earssoftly, tenderly, telling her that all is well, that everything is ok, that'sshe's finally home, that she's safe.? Butnothing seems to.
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