But at least now I know there is some support outthere.****I had the best weekend ever, diary! My mom and my step-dad went away, soI was alone. Also, my neighbor left me the keys to her place so I couldfeed her cat for her while she's on vacation, so I had the run of both myhouse and hers. So I spent the weekend in a dress, and felt so muchbetter for it. ****I've found some people to hang out with, and I have mixed feelings aboutit. On the one hand, it feels good to not be totally alone all the time,but on the other, I feel sure that they would reject me if they knewabout the girl stuff. Ah, well.****I wish I could have a girlfriend, Diary, but what girl would want a guywho feels more like a girl than a guy? Love is a luxury only "normal"people can afford.****I need a girl name. All the mags talk about having a girl name, even Alexuses "Brenda" when he's dressed up. My mom once told me that if I hadbeen born a girl, my name would be Dorothy, so maybe I should go withthat.****Diary,. Ghar me pati ka poora pyar nahi milta to kai ladkiyan yahan apni dabi vasna ko shaant kar leti hain. Isme burai hi kya hai. Ye to ek bhookh hai. Jis tarah bhookhe ko roti mile to age peechhe soche bina bus us par toot padta hai. Usi tarah sex ki bhookh lagne par admi achchha bura sochne ki parvaah nahi karta use to bus wo bhook mitane ka sadhan chahiye.” Mai uske paas baithi uski baaten sun rahi thi. “yahan jo ata hai. Uska naam pata kabhi kisi ko nahi bataya jata isliye kisi bhi ladki ko bahar kisi tarah ki pareshani ka samna karna nahi padta. Aur waise bhi dilli bahut badi hai” wo mujhe puchhkarti hui boli. Ek baat kahun?” maine us se kaha. “haan bolo. Tum to meri beti jaisi ho. Isme sharmane ki kya baat hai.” “mujhe mere thesis par likhne ke liye kaafi saari baten mili hai. Magar thesisme kuchh dum nazar nahi a raha hai””dekho agar tum humare bare me jyada gahrai se janna chahti ho to tumhe us darwaje ke bahar rah kar pata nahi chal sakta tumhe us darwaje ke andar jana padega” mai.
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