It is the fact that you liked me touching and fucking you that has you here." He stepped even closer to me.It took all the courage I had not to step back. I stood my ground. There was no way that Zeck was right; there was no way that I wanted him to touch me that night. My weakness that evening caused my current dilemma. I would not be weak again in the presence of the black man that had taken advantage of me that night."Stop lying to yourself Susan. You know that you wanted it; you know that you wanted me. If you didn't you would have stopped me. You could have stopped me at any time, all it would have taken was a look from you and I would have never done what I did. I'm much older than you and I don't waste opportunities. You know what I am saying is true and that's what is causing your problems with your husband. You're lying to yourself and that is leaving you filled with guilt. All you really need to do is accept the truth and all of these problems you've been having will go. But what he was writing was different than what he had been trying to say months ago. He remembered how stuck he was, how he couldn’t break through the barrier that had been blocking him when he was feeling so dark, so pained, so exhausted, but now he couldn’t write fast enough. When he finished the draft, knowing he would go over it and refine it later, he picked up his notebook and read it out loud, walking into the other room. Choosing an illusion doesn’t make my life less real, and if I care to sing instead of crawling on my hands and knees, holding up a bleeding heart, the sunrise still will sparkle on the lake and through the trees He poured himself another mug of coffee and continued writing and when he wrote the last two lines, “The sun that shines now on your lovely face will rise tomorrow from my lyric heart.” he knew he had written a keeper. Paul read the poem over four times liking it better each time, but what surprised him the most was how positive he felt and.
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