Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart...Dear Mrs. Harris,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union. The goat stumbled and plummeted more than a hundred feet to the bottom of the cliff, bouncing off protruding rocks the entire way down. Tom chuckled and thanked god he was Sheriff of a small Colorado town where no legitimate business required his full attention. The two young deputies under his command were more than capable of watching over Eagles Landing, leaving him to pursue the finer things in life.Sheriff Warner took a deep breath of chilled mountain air. He packed the rifle carefully into its case in the back seat of his pride and joy, a yellow H2 Hummer. Tom plopped himself into the driver's seat, fired up the big V-8, shifted into drive, pressed the button for four-wheel drive low, and headed toward the goat's carcass."Oh man, this is gonna look good on the old trophy wall," he said aloud to no one in particular as the Hummer bounced over the rocky terrain. "Well as long as the fall didn't mess that poor critter up too bad," he chuckled.The trophy wall in his oversized.
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