Before I could knock, Veronica opened the door with a big smile. "You made it!" and then she hugged me like an old friend. This caught me off guard a bit since I'm not the huggy type. Since the first time we met she was soaked from rain, I hadn't really gotten a good enough look or an appreciation of just how cute Veronica was. Casually dressed in Levis, a San Antonio Spurs T-shirt and some well worn New Balance running shoes, her dark hair was longer than I remembered, parted to one side and hanging over her shoulders. If she was wearing make-up, it wasn't obvious or overdone anyway, but she had a very nice complexion and was naturally pretty. Before I could really take her all in, she turned back inside and handed me the car seat and said, "Here. If you can put this in, I'll grab Emma and you'll be home in time for dinner." As I worked to put the car seat in the truck, I noticed a neighbor from one of the other apartments looking out her window at me. A lady probably in her mid. We roll, and I get on top of her. She tries to scramble away, but I let my weight go and pin her down. I do my best to pin her, but she squirms.“Get off of me, you cow.”“No.”“You can’t beat me.”In her eyes are all the worst parts of Maria. There is none of the goodness of my friend, the goodness I love. There isn’t her laugh or her smile. There isn’t her corniness or goofiness. There isn’t a girl who wishes she was a manic pixie dream girl, but is really a badass punk girl. There isn’t hope or romance. There isn’t love or light. There isn’t even strength. All I see is pain. I see pain and service. I see darkness and hatred. I see fear and anxiety. I see emptiness and fire. Not the fire that holds off the cold, but the fire that burns down your home while you’re sleeping.“I’m not trying to beat you,” I whisper. “Reyna plays games; she has winners and loser. I don’t play games.”“Everyone plays games.”“Not us. Not you.”“I’m not that girl.”“Yes, you are.” I see it so clearly. This girl.
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