I still slapped her on the butt as she boogied up the stairs.She left her stuff at the doorway, so I picked it up and followed her. Knocking first, I walked in to see her already down to a bra and panties."Here's your stuff beautiful, see you in a bit." OK Marty. Love you!"That was new?I walked back down to see mom and dad making out where I left them. That told me I had been taken out of the loop. It made me sad, but I was never expecting them to break up so I could be the only man in my mother's life.I cleared my throat, which broke them up. She slapped him on the butt as he took his stuff up with him. After he was gone, I went to mom and said, "No matter what, I'll always remember the week we have had together. It's changed my life in many ways Cassandra." You are a great young man, Martin. You'll find the right girl for you. Just keep your eyes open."Amazingly, they were both back downstairs in less than 30 minutes."Where are we going?" Cici asked grabbing my arm."I was thinking. [I]~Jesus Christ. When will this be over? Am I going to have to sit here and hurt for the rest of my life? Failure, after failure, moving from person to person, never seeming to be able to keep the people I care for? I suppose so.What can I say that can take away all of the wrongs I have made? Would someone explain them to me? Maybe then this little misunderstanding can be done and over with. I am getting tired. So tired in fact I've contemplating ending it all here. But no...no I can't do it here. There are too many people it would hurt so I have to stay until it's my time to go. I only want to kill myself, not end other peoples lives. Diary maybe you can't give me the answers but I wish someone could. I have never had a time in my life where I haven't had a good memory...But that's all it ever is; a memory. Nothing solid or right in front of me. I can remember times I had laughed and what not. Tried to be a good and faithful best friend. Tried to find a way to make things better..
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