If I didn't know better, I'd guess you already know exactly when you're going to go. I know that's nonsense, but it seems as if you're trying to prepare people for what you know is coming. As if removing yourself physically from their lives will somehow help them when you finally die." Hey, let's not go there," Alex suggested, meeting her intense look with one of his own. "You're the one who wanted to step out of my life in order to 'prepare for my death'."Cate, unable to meet his gaze any longer, dropped her head back as she collapsed on the pillow, feeding herself yet another apple slice."Yes, that's true. But when I heard what you'd been through and how much you'd changed while I was away, I realized it was stupid preparing myself for your demise. Pain is pain. When you die, it's going to hurt no matter what I do. Adding to my own pain in anticipation isn't going to make the pain of your death any easier to take." Maybe," Alex allowed as he finished off a peach, washed down with. She saw past owners shacking hands with the rich and the famous in the old black and white pictures. She couldn't help but laugh to herself when she saw the picture of Christopher up on the wall. She tried to remember what name he went by back in those days but couldn't bring the name out of the fog. He was so vain even after all these years. To drag her into one of his old haunts was so very much his style.She turned back to the bar. The bartender kept smiling at her with that "so whatcha doing later" smile. His hair was pulled back into a pony tail despite the fact the man had began to lose his hair way too early in life. His shirt hung open showing a golden cross peaking out of the deep growth of chest hair. The cross made her smile. She wondered why men like him wear them. She was willing to bet that he hasn't been to church in over a dozen years yet he still wear the cross proudly. Like no matter what sins he does in life the fact that he wore the cross while doing them was like.
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