Jolen looked even more serious and withdrew his hand. Her cheek felt cold and her stomach clenched, but she continued. ‘It were ma’ people…da tribe we was fightin’…dey is ma people. I-I…I’m na’ one o’ them na’ longa’. But I couldn’a fight an’ kill them…is why I left.’ She squeezed her eyes shut and lowered her voice to a murmur, ‘I was afraid… those battles were vera’ fierce…any hesitation on ma’ part…coulda’ cost any one o’ us a’ lives.’ She prayed he would understand, this man who could be so hard and yet so gentle, so loving and so unforgiving. She knew he was her life and she feared it. ‘How many more died because you left my side, Adianna?’ There it was, no easy forgiveness. She felt nausea creep through her stomach, serving to remind her of the other secret she was even now keeping from him…but it was not the time for this. What could she have done? Stayed and fought…what had happened to all the hatred she once held for the Karsh? ‘Jolen, could you ha’ fought the Sparra?. Her children were grown up and one daughter got married and staying separately initially I never used to look at her properly as I did not have much interest in her body, but she used to talk to me in a smiling manner, luckily she told not to go anywhere for food as I we are distant relatives and I can eat with her. I use d to assist her on Sundays in washing and drying her clothes etc every day we were becoming close. The days passed we were liking each other so much, sometimes she used to take me near and give a tight hug but I never dared to hug her back though I used to experience a strange tightening in my junior after few weeks passed she asked are you taking a head bath today is Sunday and I use to call her Amma I told no Amma she told if must take and asked me to go and sit in bath room with towel only. She came inside and bolted the bath room and applied all over the body and asked me to remove the underwear as she can’t clean me properly and I removed it. She kept her sarre.
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