I stood up and put on my coat as I began to walk downthe hall. I didn't know what else to do.I went down and tried to gather my underwear. My boxers were all dirtyand wet, as it had been raining earlier. People looked at me as theywalked past. I could feel my cheeks turning red. I couldn't tell if thatwas because of embarrassment or because of Danielle's hitting me. I stopped trying to salvage any of my underwear. It was useless; theywere all too soiled and dirty. I just rammed them back into the box, andset out looking for a dumpster. I found one around the corner and quicklydeposited the box inside. I figured I would just have to get new ones atsome point.I walked for hours, thinking about what Danielle had said. I rememberedthe way she said I was unattractive, and how all I wanted was to eat and"fuck". I thought of the time together when she had dressed me up. Iremembered how much we had enjoyed each other's company, and how greatthe sex had been. As I walked, I made a decision. I. Most of the bad things that happened to me was because I was young and innocent and not able to defend myself. I was a victim then, a victim of my circumstances and of my environment, but I’m not a victim anymore. Much more in control of my life, I’m much stronger now than I was then. After having endured my childhood, I survived the sexual, physical, and emotional abuse that no one, young or old, should suffer. Yet, glad that I went through all that I did as an adult, I wouldn’t change any of it, other than my horrible childhood. Now as an adult, most of the bad things I faced, I allow to slide off my back. Having lived through the worst of things, having already suffered through my mother, my four, much older brothers, and my ex-husband, other than a horrific accident or death, nothing and no one can hurt me now. While suffering through it all, I’m lucky to have made it out alive. With the cliché that only the strong survive so true, and with me no shrinking violet and never.
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