But total honesty requires total trust. It also requires to be comfortable enough with one's own feelings to talk openly about them.As for being able to talk and be open about my own feelings and yearnings: That has never been my strong suit. I have never learned doing that, have never been comfortable with opening up to others. My parents, as good parents as they had been, never had set a good example themselves. Feelings and emotions weren't discussed much in our family. I think I can safely say that the only person I really confide in is Karin, but then again I know her since we were toddlers and we've spent thousands of hours together and neither of us has ever let down the other.And my trust in others, especially when it comes to relationships, had been blown to smithereens half a year ago. I hadn't even begun to pick up the pieces, let alone started to put them together. But maybe now was the time to do that. No, that was wrong. Now was definitely the time. If I wasn't ready to. This extends into names; specifically my name in this case as she researched the names she would consider to come up with one that had real meaning behind it. Taken as a whole it can be read to mean, "Oath keeper, protector of the people". The Folkvar family line, so I've been told, comes from a line of men and women who have literally been protectors of the people, the members of their villages. Sometimes I feel like it is genetic. It seems to be intrinsic to who we are as a group and individually.I've always been a nice guy, with my friends specifically and most people in general. I have been the one friends would come to with their problems; often I was able to help them find their own answers. They knew they could trust me from experience. Nothing that anyone ever told me was passed on to another person; I always kept everything between me and the person telling me their troubles. This is how I ended up being where I am today. In all honesty, I still am the nice guy; I'm also.
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