Sixty gigs of memory, you had a lot of stuff.You traveled the world with me to places generally rough.You kept me company in ole' Douchebagistan,as I charged you with solar cells and cooled you down with fans.Or hooked you up to the laptop in Iraq,or the time I left you during that fucking mortar attack.I've had you in shitholes where things weren't so nice.Or when we partied in Dubai with women, drinks and ice.We froze together out on the Khyber Pass,as you kept entertaining my frostbitten ass.Or the time we drove with the diplomat from DoD?That weak moron shit that persistently had to pee?You played many things and many a mellow track...translators now sing Sinatra tunes deep in Iraq.With sunglasses on and shemaghs worn on our gear,you brought us to the Green Zone where we always had a beer.The whole team loved you as we traveled about,no malfunctions nor anything to pout.Remember that time we went someplace classified?Working for the Bear where we damn near died?You were strapped. Andy’s woody. She was impressed but at Seventy big cocks just meant a lot of pain, so she prefferred Charles.“He has a woody, do something,” Camilla hissed.“Don’t be fucking thick I’m not queer,” Charles replied.“Get Sarah,” Camilla hissed.Royal aides had bundled Sarah into the boot of the Range Rover just in case. And wisely so.“Release the hounds,” Charles ordered using the secret code word.Sarah was not amused, “I am not amused.” she said, “One minute I’m signing Budgie the Helicopter books in Poundland in Kensington High street and then I’m bundled into the boot of a Range Rover.”“Still flogging the books?” Charles chuckled, “Should use them for firewood.”“We are,” Andy said, “We have five bedrooms full of the damned things not that we are living together.”“Or having sex,” Sarah sighed.“Oh cut the crap, just sort him out will you, he can’t be on TV with a giant woody can he?” Charles ordered, “Cluster round look outwards so the Papper-fuckng-nazis can’t see and let Sarah sort him.
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