That loss can also be freeing, in that even the most stubborn fuck, and Im not really that strong willed to be stubborn, has to give up against that overbearing weight of impending doom, so this absolute finality, at least shut all doors for me, so in a sad way, it made it easier to get on with it. Aimless, that was me, a few hours soaking up the sun on the sand, a walk through town, the day was passing, but I was only going through the motions.I did go back and buy the book that Terry denied me yesterday, so there, the clerk was real impressed, Im sure. Of course I stopped by the post office, and mailed it home, not wanting to get ass whooped again, cant be to careful, my cheeks still stung from the beating I had received earlier. I dont know if it was the emotional overload or what, but I was starving, and needed to get lunch. The place looked dirty, but so was I, so I decided to stop and get a bite, and have a few drinks, figuring if I got back to the room around six, Terry would. My name, how old Iwas, who my parents were, what I liked, what I disliked...everythinginvolving something personal to me was an absolute blank. The onlything I did know was that I was lying on a bed, dressed in a softwhite, off-the-shoulder blouse and an olive green skirt long enough tocover my feet while I was curled up, and had long hair that partiallycovered my face until I brushed it back.What the hell had happened to me? Where was I? Who was I? I felt panictighten my chest as I realized that I could potentially be in danger atthat very moment and not even know it. I could very well be a prisonerin this room.It was that thought that had me leaping to my feet and rushing for thepocket door that seemed to lead out of the room, tripping on my skirtas it was indeed long enough for the hem to skim the floor. Afterfumbling with the recessed latch for a moment I shoved it sideways ashard as I could while also praying it wasn't locked. Imagine mysurprise when the door practically flew.
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