My mum tookevery rejection she got personally, as though the entire world wasconspiring to destroy her dream, so when I was born, she was determinedthat I would be everything she wasn't. I WOULD be rich and famous, IWOULD be an actress, a model or a dancer and I WOULD be admired the worldover for my beauty and femininity... Whether I liked it or not, and asyou can probably already tell, I don't like it, not one bit.And yet, every time I try to tell my mum this, I'm ignored, or sneeredat, or told how ungrateful I am for turning down all these amazingopportunities. And then, inevitably, my mother will complain- sometimesin public- that she feels yet another bout of depression coming on, andwill end up bedridden for a week whilst I'm left to feel three inchestall. I can't even tell her that I'M depressed as it'll just cause her tohave yet another bout of her depression, as though she was the onlyperson in the world who ever felt miserable and I had no right to feelanything other than. I'm single right now.Free as a bird."Shut up, you rambling idiot."Just a friend then? Or your mother, perhaps?"Yes, one of those, I thought, about to choose when-"Of course, if somebody else is using your cell it's going to invalidateyour warranty and I won't be able to help," she informed me."Nobody," I whispered."Sorry? I didn't quite-" There's nobody. I'm the only user."Sally smiled. She tapped at the screen, and I wondered what she waslooking at.She considered me, and then said loudly: "Kirsten, if you'd like to stepover here I'll get your cell booked in." It's Chris......." Nonsense. Your period tracker is registered under Kirsten. And you justtold me you're the only user of your cell. Therefore, it must be yourperiod tracker and you must be Kirsten."The nearest customers had a little laugh."I use Flo, too," Sally continued as she directed me to a small cubicle."So, I'm familiar with how it works." I don't think that's the problem. You don't have to look in-"She grinned, and I.
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