?As I said, she?s yours to do whatever youfeel like, help yourselves to the goods, gentlemen?. I can?t believe my ears. He did not justsay what I think he said. There?s something wrong with my head, there must be.I open my mouth again. But the three step up to me, grinning likemaniacs. Rows of white teeth on black faces. ?I? NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? Oh, no, God, no, this can?t be happening.How can this be? This can?t be happening, no? I scream. This time it?s not a scream ofpassion.. This time it?s a scream of sheer blind panic. It doesn?t help. Theirhands are all over me in just a few seconds. I try to back away up the stairsbut they already have me. I try to defend myself, thrashing at them blindly butthere are three young, muscular men against a middle-aged soccer mom. ?No! No! Please!!! Please!! Let me go!? Black hand covers my mouth. Other handholds my arms suspended behind my back. Other hands crawl all over my body.Then the sound of ripping fabric fills the room. They are. It’s none of her business what I do on my own time,’ I reminded myself.After parking the car and hitting the button to close the garage door, I pulled my panties out of my lap and stuffed them back in my mouth, feeling extraordinarily humiliated as I did so. Lotta had told me I had to wear them home in my mouth and not remove them until told to do so. I had taken them out of my mouth as soon as I’d climbed into my car, sure that Lotta would never know. I was glad I’d worn the thong instead of the French cut lace bike shorts I had been going to wear to work. I would never have gotten my mouth closed over them. Still, if anyone would have seen me between Lotta’s apartment and where the car was parked, I would have died of shame.“Hi mom, how’d it go with Lotta?” Evelyn asked as I entered the house.I just shrugged, saying nothing, and gestured that I was going to set my briefcase in my bedroom.Evelyn was having none of it. “You’re not seriously going to give me the silent treatment after.
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