." she looked up at me and sighed. "I was afraid of this. I tried. I really did." "Tried what?" "Kevin...I--I don't know--if I should sleep in our room tonight." "Why not??" "Kevin, it's hard to explain, but...you...you've made Sean--curious about us." "What do you mean?" "What I mean is...is...he's going to be looking at you--funny." "Funny?" "He's wondering whether really kissing you, whether if feeling deep about you like this can be real if he tried it for real." I blinked at her sober face. "Oh..." "You see now, don't you?" "Er...I guess...shit. Well, I could always just--just shrug him off like, show him I'm not interested." "He's always going to be interested as long as he needs to be me." "Damn, Sheila! I only did that to--to make you feel more like a girl, like what you saw in the mirror! I didn't know I was gonna--gonna turn Sean on! Shit, I'm no fairy fag!" "Don't you think Sean feels the same way, Kevin? That's why he created me! That's why he fools around with you as me!. Hannah... are they planning on there being school tomorrow?"She looked back over at me and I realized it had to have been hard tounderstand around the pacifier. My hand pulled away the pacifier and Irepeated it."Probably, unless we were to get more snow," she said."Can you turn in my essay if I can get it done?" I asked."Umm... sure," she said."I have calculus done too," I said as I felt mom rip the tapes open onthe old diaper.As if she finally caught on that it was okay to look and to talk to meshe came back towards me. "Did you figure out that last calculusproblem?" Sort of," I said as I tried to distract myself from Mom grabbing myfeet in one hand and lifting my bottom while pulling the wet diaper outfrom underneath. "My dad and I think there's a mistake. He helped mesolve it as far as it could be, and then I also solved it with thecorrected problem." Think you can help me with that before he takes me home?" she askedme."Sure," I said as Mom finished taping the new diaper on me. I.
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