Six rolls from a long weekend at Yosemite, and in my rush to develop them and see what I had I told myself that the developer I had from a couple of months ago would be good enough. It wasn't.I remember that afternoon. My stomach knotted as though I was going to throw up. I felt a lead weight on my heart. Mostly, I felt despair. Fucked up again. The evidence was quite clear. "Clear," in fact, described the result perfectly. Virtually no detail at all in the negatives. Nothing. Zilch. Nothing I could salvage, even with the hardest highest-contrast paper I could find. It was hopeless. I felt like shit. Like failure. Dad wouldn't have approved, I'm sure of that.Just a fuckup. That's what it felt like and that's what it was. So, no, I didn't cry, but I felt like it. I solved it the way I'd solved so many similar things over the years: I cut it out of my life. I told myself it was because I was bored with it, that I hated darkroom work, that I was only doing it because Dad did it and my. .. seriously." Shesmiled uneasily, her hands gesturing to her outfit, for the first timelacking the confidence she had earlier shown. "And it's a wig - obviously- I've got a few but I'm quite liking the blonde at the moment. It cost afortune, mind you, but it's so much better than the one I first bought."She continued: "Well I can see why you might have thought it was Jodie,as this is a kind of mix of her things and a few I bought myself. Theheels are mine: my feet are too big!" She squeezed his knee playfully.An awkward tension seemed to suddenly engulf them, as if sudden physicalcontact had lifted the curtain of their fantasy. For a moment the moodchanged and Kyle was taken out of the make-believe of meeting a cutegirl, into the reality of being sat with his former best friend while heparaded and pranced around pretending to be a girl. He gulped hard. Hiseyes widened.Chrissy sensed the change of atmosphere, and decided to take control ofthe situation."Look, I know what you're going.
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