With Mama, it was my heart and my mind, but my heart was already filled with love for her. She could have my heart, but not my mind. The third wall I built was the hardest for me, but it was a wall I'd built many times before. This was the wall that kept me inside, preventing me from reaching out to others. With this wall. I'd be emotionally insulated again. I'd used this wall for most of my life, closing myself off from caring about others. Maybe not from caring, but from showing them anything I might feel for them.I looked at my watch, it was ten thirty, and I had completed construction of all three of my walls. I felt an emotional numbness. My legs were tired from my long walk, but I knew now where I was, and where I'd been heading. I was on the road to Holton, no more than six or seven miles from the Clement Academy. I wasn't sure if they'd even let me into my old apartment. I still had clothes and other belongings in my room, stored there until the new school year began. There. John stayed until Paul came round so we could all have a drink together and then he went off with a couple of his mates. After John left we had some more wine and then I went through to the bedroom to get changed. Paul followed me in and sat on the bed while I looked through the clothes to decide what to wear for the night. He complimented me on my wardrobe and then asked if he could try on one of my tops! He is about my size so I said that he could of course. He tried on lots of tops first until he found one which suited him. I told him how well he looked and jokingly asked if he wanted a bust to go with it! He blushed and told me that he’d wanted to dress up for ages but his ex didn’t want him to. I found an old padded bra and some silicon push ups which gave him some cleavage under the top. I asked if he wanted to go the rest of the way and when he agreed I got out some stockings and skirts I thought would suit him. Luckily I had a pair of boots which were about his size as well,.
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