’ ‘You like it better when I say it.’ ‘I like you better in every way.’ ‘I like that you like me better.’ He kisses me again. ‘You’re yummy today.’ He is trembling slightly too, not from arousal but from all the other words that hurt to say. I smooth away the sweat from his forehead. I kiss him on the cheek. I wrap my arms around his neck. He’s rocking me close, his arms beneath my ribs cushioning me against the hard metal table, his body heat sheltering me. Everything is happening quick now. Our whimpers and groans echo in the small office. He’s saying my name, urging me on. ‘Now,’ he says, the ache in his voice this time, ‘before it’s too late.’ I try hard to make it happen. I squeeze and move the way I want, and I focus on feeling all the wonderful ways he makes me feel. I hold him tight to my chest, and release. We come together, shuddering, and then, cry into each other’s shoulders. He curls me into his embrace. ‘I don’t want you to go,’ he says. ‘I don’t want to go either.’. His eyes, watery green pools ringed in eyelashes nearly too full to be believable. Small, delicate nose, sharp cheekbones, pointed chin, slender neck. All Ryan's. That's where the similarities stopped, though. The bare shoulders and the clavicle were more delicate than Jake would have guessed. The arms wrapping his chest were long and leanly muscled, with barely any hair covering the strong forearms. Jake's eyes went to the spot just above where the sheet began, where a slight swell indicated the presence of... breasts? Jake's brain backed up enormously. His eyes roamed the rest of Ryan's body, taking in subtle swells and curves. Stunned, wide eyes returned to Ryan's impassive gaze. “Holy mother of God. You're a... ” His speech trailed off as his mind did a massive global shift. It all made so much more sense now. He thought back to the days and nights on the trail, Ryan's behavior throughout the entire job. His distance, his solitary nature. It was nothing more than self.
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