I know that my urges areabnormal, even aberrant. But urges, by their very nature, do not allowfor control by logic.That is not to say that one cannot seek to analyze the causes of suchpowerful impulses. Of course, it may be some deep-seated distrust ofother men, combined with a desire to dominate and humiliate them. But Ido not see it that way. For me it is not about putting men down butbringing forth the hidden woman. I do not see her in every man, but whenI do, I feel the compulsion to free her.I became a surgeon to help the afflicted. What doctor with a consciencecannot want to help a woman cloaked in the unnatural body of a man? Itis just that not everybody can see the woman inside and hear the unspokencalls from within - the cry to be rid of the obnoxious male skin. I havethat skill, that ability. I consider myself a special kind ofdiagnostician - a finder of feminine consciousness.The difficulty is that not all of these private patients of mine arefully understanding. Her going to office also gives me some private time todo other things, such as wear her heels.Thank God, my office video conferences. If I had to stand up during ameeting, I would have a lot more to explain than long nails. A shortsuit skirt or a pair of Rachel's city shorts with pantyhose wouldprobably put an end to my career.Setting the breakfast sandwiches down on the table, I reach for hersteaming hot cup of coffee from the coffeemaker and place it on thetable. I turn back to the counter as my hot water is ready to make tea.When I turn back to the table, with a cup of hot water and tea bag inhand, Rachel enters the kitchen in equally high heels and hosiery. Nodivorce documents, What a relief. I love her so much it would destroy meto lose her and worse, to hurt her.In her hands is not just pantyhose, but what appears to be a short blacklace nightgown and satin robe. She smiles and says, "I thought if we aregoing to have a girlie moment, it should be feminine. Go put these on inthe.
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