The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said I didn't have to, but in that moment I wanted to, alot. I remembered my pure emotional breakdown that came in the lockerroom, but also the way she pulled the first tube of lipstick across mylips and I couldn't get enough of that feeling, or her. Erin was like anaddiction. It didn't matter whether I had wanted to stop or not, becauseI couldn't. But when I had. Main – Are ye kya aawaz thi? Mummy sab thik to hai na, mujhe aapki aawaz sunai di. Laga jaise aap dard mein ho. Sab thik to hai na?Mummy aur bhaiya dono hi ab thoda hadbada gaye. Chudai ke nashe mein ek choti si bhool unhone kar di hi thi. Aur ab iske kaaran dono pakde ja sakte the.Sourav bhaiya bhi samajh gaye ke ab sambhalna padega warna mushkil ho jaegi. Aur main andar aa jaunga. Mummy Sourav bhaiya ke haatho ki pakad se nikal ke dur jaa ke chhupna chahti thi.Is darr se ke ab maine unki siskari sun li hai to kahin main andar na aa jau.Par bhaiya ne maa ko kamar se kas ke pakda hua tha. Woh jaan rahe the ke maa unki pakad se nikal ke bhaagna chahti hai.Isliye unhone aur kas ke maa ko pakd liya aur apni chudai chaalu rakhi. Ab par speed ko halka slow kiya. Bas halka sa. Taaki mujhe bhaiya ke lund ke thapedo ki maa ke chuttar mein takraane ki aawaz sunai mein naa aaye.Aur unhone mujhe sunaane ka naatak karte huye kaha.Sourav bhaiya – (apne ser ko andar kitchen ke taraf dekhte huye).
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