In fact it amuses me that you don't. But by god you'll do them or it's all over. I owe you big time for the way you've behaved over the last three years and the hell you've put me through. I have every intention of repaying you in spades."She stared at me despondently for a long time before she nodded and in a quiet voice said, "Yes, sir. I understand. I'll do what you want. I don't want you to leave me. I don't want to be alone. I can't be alone. I know you hate me right now. Maybe I deserve that. But I'm going to do whatever you want me to do. I'm going to try to make it up to you. Maybe someday you can love me again."I didn't expect that! That was a huge admission. It also sounded a lot like total surrender. But I had to ask, "Gwen, you say you want me to love you again? But I have to wonder, did you ever really love me? You never showed it if you did. If you had it would have made all the difference in the world."Her eyes got wide and she exclaimed, "I ... Kenny I ... of course I. He nodded frantically again. He realized he was gasping for breath. He held up one finger, telling her to wait. He felt like he was going to pass out.She waited, silently, and he had never been so thankful in his life that somebody had done what he asked her to. Slowly, he got control back, breathing deeply. He tried to think analytically, since that calmed him, usually.“Just a minute more,” he panted.Still she sat, silent ... waiting.Finally he felt like he could move forward. He had to have some answers first, though ... he needed to understand this, or it would sweep him away, and he didn’t think that was wise. If there was even a single chance that she meant what she’d said, he didn’t want to run any risk whatsoever of screwing this up.“Before I answer that,” he finally said. “Can I ask you a question?”She nodded, like he had, only not frantically.“Why?” he asked.“Why do I love you?” she said.He nodded, and was proud that he could do it normally. Just her words, asking if that’s.
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