The drinker says "Who's buying the next round?"The poor person says "I'd rather have a glass half-empty than no glass at all."The rich person says "You can have whatever water trickles over the edge"The drunk says: Which glass?The Plumber says: You've got a leak.This one is compliments of DonYou Might Be A Conservative if...You've named your kids "Deduction one" and"Deduction two."You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."You've ever called a. Many times we were invited into his apartment to wait while he finished getting ready for work.John had been married for a short time but after that came to a sad end, he now lived with a roommate by the name of Bill.On Friday evening after work, Kathy said that we needed to talk later that evening. Around 9 pm the kids were put to bed and she began, "I know who I want to be my first lover, promise you won't get mad."I told her that I would not get mad.Kathy said, "I would like for John to be my first lover."I guess I was both shocked and yet not really surprised. As I thought about it, she was always flirted with him and he was always returning the flirts. He was always telling me what a beautiful woman she was and how lucky I was to have her.She began to cry again and said, "I knew you would be mad."I told her that I wasn't mad and asked her what she had in mind and when she wanted to start.She said that she would like to go tonight before she backed out. I told her it was OK, go.
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