And the sex! As her drug consumption increased, Sunbeam seemed to have lost her ability to discriminate. She called herself 'polyamorous', which Tabitha first misheard as 'polyandrous', which was nonsense given her stated sexual preference. But although Tabitha confined her interest to women, and still had frequent sex with Sunbeam, despite them no longer being an item, her friend had now developed an enthusiastic taste for sex with men as well.This shocked Tabitha at first. But she and Sunbeam had already chosen to sleep in separate rooms, and that wasn't only because of Sunbeam's frequent and open infidelity. Tabitha had sensed, sometimes too acutely, that she had become Sunbeam's token black woman lover and that the emotional content of their love, so intense in their early teens, had become subsumed by considerations of outward appearance. It had been difficult for Tabitha to reconcile her sexuality and her love for her parents, who were traditional black Baptists and so. ’ ‘Man, you’re either drunk or crazy.’ she understated. ‘No, that’s it I mean’ he continued ‘I’ve been thinking and I think that how I love her and how she loves me exists on some kind of special plane…’ She couldn’t resist. ‘A 747?’ ‘Stoppit. Ugh. I mean that I guess I’m at that age where I’ve lost so much I can’t afford to lose any more.’ ‘What does that mean?’ ‘I guess it means I’m making some sort of a stand. I guess it means I don’t want to be a loser.’ She exhaled. ‘Well that’s genuinely good. If you really mean it.’ ‘What it it also means is that I want her to be what she needs to be, do what she needs to do in order to get better, become herself again. I just hope I have the strength.’ ‘You’re a strong man, when you wanna be.’ She could almost hear him grimace. ‘Yeah well that works both ways, don’t it?’ ‘Like everything.’ ‘Yeah.’ She hopefully grinned into the phone again. ‘Are you ok now? Are you going to be ok?’ ‘Yeah yeah, sure. I’m good. Uhm, thanks for the advice.’.
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