Jones: Specializing in Odds and Ends."Everybody loved it.The following are totally offensive and tasteless humor. Caution is advised.1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Rick woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.3. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.4. "IT'S A BOY" I shouted, "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY". And with tears streaming down Tom's face he swore he'd never visit another Thai Brothel.5. Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver. and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Duluth.6. A boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?"Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"7. Wife gets naked and asks hubby, "What turns you on more, my. “Same time next week if you can make it”? I asked“Yes please”. They said When I returned to the lounge Alice had removed her bra and was playing with her nipples and making little purring sounds.“Let’s go to bed darling, I need you to make love to me slowly”. Alice said.We almost ran to the bedroom, Alice lay down and I lay next to her. I started by kissing her breasts and nipples causing Alice to pant and wriggle then she reached down and pushed my panties down as far as she could reach. Next I felt her feet move up and move my panties down until they were hanging off one ankle. “Now darling, I need to you to fill my vagina with your penis and then fill me with your wonderful semen”. Alice said. We made love for about 30 minutes slowly then speeding up as we approached our orgasms. Finally Alice said “Now darling, now. I’m cumming”.I did just that, I had been holding back for a few minutes, so I just released my hold and shot several jets of semen in to Alice’s pulsing vagina.“Wow.
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