I was lightly pushed into a small room that felt about as big a disabled access toilet. My wife then stripped me of my clothing and I was pushed onto a cold steel seat and then I felt my hands and legs being restrained to the chair behind me. My wife took off the blindfold and my eyes took a moment to adjust to this new room. Despite the darkness of the hallway and the other rooms this one was very well lit. It had a harsh set of down lights coming from the ceiling and bright white walls. As I became accustomed to the brightness, I realized that the room had a stainless steel support bar running around one side. Overall, the room looked extremely clean, almost clinical. "Where are we?" I asked. "There are rules for today, so first open your mouth." I open wide and she then gags me with the blindfold she took from my eyes. I looked at her as she knelt down in front of me almost eye level. I stared into her perfect green eyes as she spoke. "This is a test, honey; I know how much you. Show me the track so I can kick your ass.”“I know that you don’t like wearing the helmet, knee and elbow pads when riding but I must insist you get geared up first. Part of the track is a downhill route. That means we are doing downhill on a bike with no suspension and relatively the same design as a road bike. We are going to crash a few times before we get it right.”Reluctantly she agrees, and I pull two duffle bags out of the back of the SUV.“A chest protector, really!!!”“It is either that, or we pack everything back up, and you don’t get to be the first one to smash up one of our new bikes.”It does look a little funny. We put on chest protectors, knee pads, shoulder pads and a BMX helmet over cycling spandex. Carol’s biggest complaint is the helmet. It is many times heavier than a road bike helmet and more cumbersome. When she is on her bike and ready to go, I hand her a pair of motocross goggles.“Come on. Do I have to wear these things?”“Part of the track is ungroomed deer.
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