The thought of failing to have sex put me off it for a while.I was cynical, angry, and sexually frustrated, projecting my self-hatred onto everyone else - even Nita. I feel awful for the way I treated her at first, often wondering why she bothered to stick around. I couldn’t bear to hold her back, to see her limiting herself because of me.Four months after The Crash, I told her this.I could see she didn’t want to let go. I tried convincing her what I already knew, that she would have a much better life with someone else. And then… she took her clothes off. That night when she shamelessly got on her knees in front of me - the first time we did anything remotely intimate since my physical prowess was taken from me - I hardly believed it. She had never been so brash, and I had never been more turned on by her. I was secretly afraid she wasn’t attracted to me anymore, but I was definitely wrong. What she did to me worked, and we fucked for the first time in months. It was the most normal. .She did and we started watching tv..After few minutes i realized that she has slept..I tried to wake her up so that she can sleep in the bedroom ..She didnt get up..And i remain in the same position and closed my eyes….And i slept in the same position .Around 2 am in the morning i felt some movement and i realized that she is awake and she was waking me up..I asked her what happened …She said sorry to me that she slept on the couch and asked me that y didn’t i wake her up…I said i didn’t want to spoil her sleep..She hugged me and kissed me on my cheek…I caressed her back and asked her to sleep in the bedroom..She said she is scared of sleeping alone in the bedroom and asked me to sleep on the bed with her as it was a double bed.I hesitantly agreed . I took a corner and she took my hand to keep her head ..I cud feel the warmth of her body as she was very close to me…And then she took my other hand and kept it on her tummy..And she moved even closer to me .I was facing her back and my.
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