Then disaster struck! I had felt a bit under the weather for a few daysand was running a bit of a fever. I put it down to some bug I had pickedup and thought little about it beyond taking paracetamol and drinking lotsof fluids. Then one night I awoke about 3am in excruciating pain centredon my groin. I didn't know what to do with myself it hurt so much.Fortunately Mary kept her head and rang for an ambulance. I was rushed offto the local hospital and after a very brief visit to A&E was whipped downto theatre.Here I was given a local anaesthetic and the surgeon carefully cut away myfalse vagina prosthetic. After an examination he came and stood beside me."I'm very sorry Mr Marchbanks" he said, with a grave face, "but I havesome bad news for you. You have been keeping your testicles tucked upinside your abdomen for too long. Every week or so you should have allowedthem recovery time in their natural position; as a result of this abuse,they have atrophied; softened; and become a natural. ‘No special reason. I can just relate to his situation, we’ve got plenty of space, he might be interesting … and he looks like a nice guy.’ To be honest, I really didn’t know what made me stop. Just an impulsive instinct. ‘Are you going anywhere near Melbourne?’ he asked with a broad Scandinavian accent. ‘Yeah. Jump in,’ I replied. He opened the back door, pushed his pack across the seat and climbed in beside it. He was trying to get to Melbourne, another 90kms past our place. I said we could drop him at the highway exit where we turn off for our village. At first, I asked all the questions. Willi – or ‘Villi’ as he called himself, was in his mid-forties and was travelling to visit f****y. He’d been most of the way across Australia, loved the wide open space, thought the sky went on forever and was surprised how easy-going Aussies were. He’d just resigned as a physical education teacher and was due back in Sweden in three weeks’ time to settle his divorce. At first, Annie stayed.
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