The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.To steal from many is research.9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.10. In filling out an application, where it says,"In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call. “You’re passing up being fucked senseless by two sexy young women? With no limits on what you can do? Or where you can put it?”I smiled, “I have to pass. I’m sure April told you my rule.”“She did. Waive it. You’ll be VERY happy!”“For a few hours, and then I’ll feel very bad. I need to get back to the house.”“I think he’s turning gay! He prefers the company of men!”I chuckled, “You’re persuasive, but not persuasive enough. I’ll stop in and check on the kids later.”Sarah dropped her arms and let me leave the coach house. I was certainly tempted, but as I’d said, that rule had served me very well, and I wasn’t about to violate it.August 19, 1991, Chicago, Illinois“Aren’t you due very soon?” Doctor Green asked.“Sometime in the next week,” Jessica said.“Remind me at the end to set the next appointment six weeks out. Is that OK?”“I would think so,” she said.“How are things going?”Both of my wives looked at me.“Uh oh,” Doctor Green said. “What happened?”“I made a stupid, insensitive remark.
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