These thoughts were now the only things in the world that truly belonged to me. Beginning to think again was horrible; in many ways even worse than the state of blissful ignorance from which I had just emerged. I only managed to scribble down single, disconnected words at a time, more emotions than thoughts. My hands and fingers were stiff and clumsy. I remember cutting myself on a sharp pen once, and not being able to stem the flow of blood. I thought that would be the end for me. Surely Heinz would notice the blood on my hands, and get suspicious. But no, the self-absorbed fool merely stitched me up and let me go. I sometimes play with the idea of what I would have to do to prove to him that I am a person, a human being. But I won’t. The monster has other ideas.” The creature then proceeded to enter into the next room. The room was bare except for some sheet covered furniture. In the middle of the room was a solitary round white alabaster table with a sixteenth journal page. I knew what it was but the alcohol had done its job too well and my ability to judge right from wrong was gone. I knew that I felt his hard cock pressing into me just below my stomach and I didn’t care. I just closed my eyes and let him guide me around the water. It felt so good to have someone holding me and enjoying my body as much as I was enjoying theirs. We danced around in the water for a long time until I felt the side of the pool against my back again. I opened my eyes when I felt his hands at the back of my bikini bra pulling on one of the strings. It fell loose in the water between us. I closed them again when he leaned forward and kissed me. I didn’t care who this was kissing me I just responded like I always did when someone kissed me, I kissed him back. He continued to push his pelvis into mine and the grinding sensation started to make me feel warm all over. I ground my pelvis into his and realized that I was feeling his skin against mine. He didn’t have his bathing.
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