Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”“Oh God no!” cries the man. “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”“The good news is ... I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and I’ll need your permission before I can go ahead with the transplant.”“Go for it doc,” says the man, “as long as I can play golf again.”The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.“Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.“Just great,” says the golfer. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved.”“That’s great,” said the surgeon.“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors.”“That’s unbelievable!”. " I'll just tell them I'm not a virgin. Then we can go home."A feeling of deja vu swept over me as I recalled a similar but opposite conversation with Abby four years ago. Abby had thought she could fake the loss of virginity."Your mother has told them that you are a virgin and they will check you before the initiation." But I'm scared." Look, come back inside and I'll tell you exactly what would happen if you change your mind and want to be initiated by the time we get there. Then you'll have full knowledge of the ceremony to help you decide what you want to do."There was a certain reluctance but she finally got back inside. Instead of my sticking to a clinical depiction of what could happen as I had intended, I lapsed into slightly pornographic rhetorical descriptions. Then within another mile, she had been not only kissed for the first time but had been thoroughly french-kissed. She was apparently in shock and unresponsive to verbal speech. Soon, the top of her dress was at her.
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