I was startled atfirst and jumped back.It was a dog! And he looked friendly. I called to mysister, the two of us called to the dog and he washappy to respond, jumping at the fence.“He like to play around,” A voice said behind us.We turned around and there was a boy about my sister’sage, around 13 or so.“That’s our dog, Kohi. If you want I can bring him outand we can play together,” the boy said.“Sure, sounds good,” I said. I introduced myself and my sister. The boy went aroundto the gate and put a leash on the dog. He camerunning out, excited to play, pulling the boy behindhim.“Looks like he is the boss of you,” I said, laughing abit.“Ya, he has a lot of energy,” the boy said. “I’mRiki.”The three of us took Kohi for a walk. We went into theforest a bit and Riki showed my sister and me around.At one point Riki took Kohi off his leash and weplayed catch with him. It was a really good time.But as. She still laughed with him, but her laugh was different, it didn’t have the same life, the same spark. She didn’t want to tell him her struggles anymore. She didn’t want him to worry about her, didn’t want him to know just how far her self-hatred really went. How deeply rooted in her mind it really was. How every time anyone got just a little glimpse of it, they would tell her that she scared them. She couldn’t do that to him…. But she already had…. And she hated herself for that. She had scared him once already, let him see the one mark she had made, the first mark she had made in months. A mark she made because those feelings she tries to hide so deep came clawing back to the surface. Feelings she thought she had locked away for good. But feelings of being nothing, of being worthless, of feeling like trash are hard to lock away when it turns out they have a spark of truth in them. The mark that was mad, the mark he hates, was made because of her, was made so later more wouldn’t.
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