When I stress it will draw itself up by my shoulder and my fingers do this thing where they deform like I’ve had a stroke.I was off my meds for about three days due to not having the money to get them. I wasn’t happy with the experience, My mental abilities regressed and the pain, I mean the real pain started coming back. What upset me is I discovered that without those pills my brain can’t function. So it’s not a matter of becoming normal again or any simulation of it. It is simply about functioning well enough not to shit my pants and no I don’t want to talk about it.My family has been talking with each other about what to do when dad dies. They seem to forget I have really good hearing and being in another room and speaking low doesn’t keep me out.Plus, the IRS thinks it’s ok for me to have filed in March and I still haven’t received my tax refund and it’s October. How stupid of me. Social Security still hasn’t had my court date.The last two months I’ve alternated being pissed at. "I caught him in bed with my sister — so I left." She tensed up expecting the familiar pain to shoot through her midsection, but to her surprise she found it didn't hurt quite so much any more. It was like looking at a sepia tinted photo — it felt less real somehow.Rob winced at the confession. He could barely imagine the agony of betrayal and hurt she must have suffered."I'm so sorry," he said sincerely. "That's a terrible thing to happen to anyone; especially when it was your sister involved." Thanks..." Nicole looked up at him and smiled faintly. "I'm over it now," she said firmly. "Well ... mostly anyway."The raucous laughter and loud music emanating from the jukebox in the corner faded into the distance. Nicole felt like the room had shrunk until there was only the two of them in it. She looked into his eyes and saw her own sadness reflected back at her. She just hoped he wouldn't hurt her too..."Have you heard from them since?" Rob asked, his hand squeezing hers lightly."Nope..
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