‘Maybe if something comes up?’ I said. Joe nodded, nodded longer than usual for this sort of thing. He said, ‘Okay, I’ll see what’s around.’ And we let go hands. No commitments. Another long career fading out. There was no Carol to go home to, not for some years, so I didn’t hurry from the locker room. But I rarely hurried. Lots of people get away from their careers. I guess it’s that they didn’t get elected or that they did. They didn’t write the great novel, become superintendent of schools, or head librarian. They just go by, thinking they were competent, and for the most part, they were. Nothing to be ashamed of. They don’t harken back to the start when they had hope and maybe promise, promise of more. Some failures, some compromises, some disappointments along the way and they felt mediocre. They were okay. Just okay, wishing there were a but. But okay was okay. Even Styron had to accept that others supplanted him. I was more or less content with it. Well, not really. I was. Works too hard, plays too little, getting around to heart attack time. But he's cheerful, and fun, and he still says I'm beautiful. I love him."Dear old Martha," he said, smiling that "I care about you" smile he has. I know that one, just as I know all the others. That one is the best, I think. "I wish I could kiss it and make it better." You could," I said. I smiled again.So he did. It wasn't time, yet, for the regulation New Year's kiss, but he set his champagne glass down on a lamp table, took mine out of my hand and put it down, too, and put his arms around me."It's early," he said, looking into my eyes, still smiling."Fifteen minutes to go. But I believe in starting early."He pulled me hard up against him. My breasts pushed against his chest. I could feel his thighs against mine. He leaned down and put his lips on mine, gently, at first, then harder. I could feel his heartbeat. He tasted sweet, of champagne. I opened my mouth and took his tongue inside, and he squeezed me.
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