I threw caution to the winds. "Uh miss? I'm well acquainted with the barkeep here. Let me use my influence if you will," I said. She gave me a look that let me know she thought that I was crazy. Jerry joined us. "Jerry, please get this lady a horse, okay?" I said, playing the big roll. "A horse?" she said. "Yeah, drink a horse, ride a cowboy," I said. She laughed. "I think you have the lyrics mixed up there, mister," she said. "Yeah, I guess," I said. "Conrad Winston." "Helena, Helena Cross nee Pavlov; and no I don't have any dogs," she said. I smirked. "Okay. Me neither," I said. Jerry brought e Horse. We talked for some minutes, and I asked her to dance. We did, and oh did she feel and smell good. I almost forgot why I was there. I was there to follow my wife's instructions. And, then I thought about her final instruction: to be home by midnight. Helena and I talked up a storm. Her husband was an asshole; she was alone in a strange land. Resources fast running out, I. At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Justin Trudeau took his Oath of Office.However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Soldiers, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the Prime Minister.It was then that I realized how far Canada’s military had deteriorated.Every one of them missed the bastard.Perks of being over 60 And heading towards 70 or beyond!01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.02. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.03. No one expects you to run - anywhere.04. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, ‘Did I wake you?05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.08. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.09 ... You can live without sex but not your glasses.10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no.
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