There is something extra powerful about the web of representations and images of black men as r****ts and violent sexual monsters that leads to the excitement. Is it racist? Utterly. And so any woman who has a conscience must question her own ethics in playing out her fantasies, but in other ways the primal nature of fear and excitement, its very irrationality, shifts sexuality into a different kind of existence from morality as a set of choices and commitments. And so how does one respond?I respond by embracing the fear, embracing the fetish for black men as dangerous sexual beings. I want to be taken by a black man. I want to suck his member. And hopefully I do it well enough that whoever is on the receiving end enjoys it. If a black man has a little Oriental flower fetish and violates me that much harder because I represent a Geisha or massage parlour fantasy, then maybe we both get some pleasure at least out of these larger structures of fear and hate that I can't control. It's. "let's go and make some tea."We had a crisis during the early hours and we had to call a doctor in to sedate a couple of howlers."The doc's use great pill here," he said."Oh," I replied."Yeah," he said, "I'll point out the one you need to look out for, I can't pronounce the bloody name of it but it starts with an 'X' and ends with 'FLY'. We all call it xfly." Oh," I said, "What's it do?" Well the doc's use it to quieten them down at night, like those two earlier, they'll be on xfly," he explained. "But the patient will remember nothing about it the next day." Oh," I said."Yeah so when you see the doc's giving xfly to a young women we all know she's available all night," he said. "Trouble is they usually only give them to the old biddies."Oh," I said."So how did you like your first night then?" asked Keith as we were clocking off."Well it wasn't what I was expecting," I said with a big grin."No I bet," he laughed, "now don't forget your Mars bar and condoms for tomorrow night." Yeah.
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