“A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Alberta border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.”Rumors are circulating about plans to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wigs and polyester pantsuits, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary. At that time, my mother was an Ann Summers agent and held naughty knicker parties either at our home or at that of a lady or ladies who wanted a party.During each party my mother would demonstrate various sex aids and sexy lingerie which the partygoers would order for a later delivery. That’s where I came in.The orders from each party would be sent off to the distribution centre the day after the party. The goods would then arrive at our house a few days later for me to deliver to the buyers, all women of course.I loved delivering the goods, as I knew what was in each package.The look on the faces of the recipient was that of either shock or embarrassment, especially when they saw it was delivered by me and not my mother. I often tried to picture in my mind what the lady would look like in the outfit she had ordered or lying naked with a big dildo stuck between her legs.I had been doing this for about six to nine months when the delivery process became much more interesting. My mother.
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