Zeke Taylor was incredibly encouraging. He was always mumbling casual-seeming compliments to me in the dugout whenever I made any kind of defensive play the least bit out of the ordinary. He told me repeatedly that I had a "good stroke" at the plate. I guess I did, but it was almost laughable to be told that on a club with guys like Taylor and T.S. Williams doing the heavy lifting on offense.But even though I knew the big guy was mostly just cheerleading, it still felt good, having a future Hall of Famer whispering sweet nothings in my ear. If it didn't actually make me a better hitter, it at least made me feel like I belonged in the lineup.Two road trips and three home stands in April gave me a chance to fall into the routine of playing regularly, home and away, for long enough to find a groove. I had very little time to think about anything but the job. I hadn't seen Juniper Jones at any time since before Brennan's injury, and in early May we had to leave Baltimore (after an. Me, though? I was too young. I was just a sanctimonious little shit. I was stunned. Was that how she saw me? Was that how I was behaving?I was pissed at her for her treatment of Mary-Beth and had felt justified in that, but I hadn’t known the full story. Mrs. Vardy was a victim herself, and she was right: we hadn’t protected her. She’d been left to deal with everything herself. She hadn’t made the best choices, but what right did I have to judge her?I considered, with great discomfort, what role the government’s stubborn insistence on secrecy might have played in making her feel isolated, and maybe even crazy. As I thought about it, it all seemed rather arbitrary and half-assed, too. We were telling people left and right, but generally only after damage had been done. I shook off the stray thoughts; I needed to focus on the problems in front of me, with the people who were suffering right then. I realized that Amanda had been right all along: love was the way forward. Becky had had a.
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