You’ve sat in a car with him and undressed for him. You’ve even sucked him. You’ve schemed with him in keeping your relationship secret. The point is, it is a relationship. You’re involved with him on more than a purely sexual basis. He kids you about keeping you panties, a secret little game the two of you play. Every day each of you is aware of the other in a very different way from the others assistants in the same office. ‘Suddenly, tonight, the knowledge that he has a social, perhaps even sexual life, aside from you, is forced on you. Oh, I’m sure that you knew that in a nebulous way and accepted it intellectually, but seeing him tonight made it real. Subconsciously, he was yours and abruptly he was not. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised that he had something of the same reaction when he saw you with me. Obviously, he knew that you were married, but that’s not the same thing as seeing you with your husband.’ ‘I feel so foolish! I’m a 31 year-old married woman acting like a 16. My sleep had reduced to just four to five hours on weekends with all the cooking, cleaning and laundry I was had to get done.I was quite good at cooking and both Brad and Lina praised me quite generously for how good it was. After serving them food, I would be under the dining table worshipping the foot of either Lina or Brad as they enjoyed the delicious meal. I was only allowed to eat their leftovers, that too like a dog with hands tied behind me. Sometimes Brad or Lina would piss in it, if they were feeling like it.I did not, of course, sleep on the bed anymore. My position was on the floor on the foot of their bed. Sometimes, if Brad had too much beer that night, he would wake up in the middle of the night to piss. But he wouldn't go to the washroom. He would walk up to me as I slept, kick me awake and kneel over my face and piss into my open mouth and go back to bed as I struggled to go back to sleep on the cold hard floor and that disgusting taste in my mouth made it only.
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