.the room was dark she couldn't see into it very far, she stepped into the room, she almost stumbled not realizing that there were steps leading down, she felt to the sides and clutched onto wooden railings, the stairs were short and only went down a few steps, her eyes were a little better adjusted to the darkness now but she could still not make anything out, the room was filled with a certain kind of smell, the smell of rubber and leather mixed with a hint of perfume, she walked carefully into the room with her arms feeling out in front of her looking for a light switch having not found one on the inside of the doorway, her foot kicked something on the floor that sounded like a chain or metal, a long cord dangling from the ceiling brushed against her forehead as she walked into it, she reached up and took hold of it and gave it a tug assuming it to be the light switch, suddenly the room was bathed in a bright reddish light, she could now see clearly the contents of the secret. I finally did start dating, yet seemed to find girls who had their own agenda, tolerating me while their immediate needs were being met, but distancing themselves when a better opportunity arrived." College was an eye-opener for me. I didn't realize how little I knew about myself. I had never questioned the path that had been laid out for me, and the college experience helped me realize how much more there was to life. I met a girl, who was very nice and comfortable to be with, but she knew who she was and where she was going in life, and I felt like a piece of clay with no form or direction. Though I felt a great desire for her, I had to pull myself away from her, fearful I would just give in to her life and never discover my true identity hidden within me." My first true love, who I actually pictured myself marrying, was with me during my military service. She couldn't deal with the physical distance, so ended up getting involved with another guy. This hit me very hard. I didn't.
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