"He laughed softly. "I'll bet you do okay. You're a nice looking guy." Thank you. You, too." So what's the problem? And... what was your name?" I'm Alan," he said. "You?" Rusty. Russ, to some people." Hi Russ. I'm just ... struggling a little." With being gay?" Oh, I'm not gay," he said. "I mean, I don't think I'm gay. I've neverbeen with a man."I was disappointed. "So why are you here with the beautiful people?" It's...it's my wife," he said."That'll drive a man into the arms of another man."He swallowed hard. He nodded."Can I tell you something, Russ?" he said. "I don't know why I should,but I have to tell somebody." Tell me. I have a good ear."He smiled a crooked smile. He shook his head. Then he half-turned towardme."Russ ... I'm wearing panties." He looked at me to see my reaction."Alan, half of the men in here are wearing panties. Not just thetransvestites. But men like panties. And jockstraps. It's not a bigthing." Are half the men wearing their panties because their wives made. Her husband surprised me pushing back, even though it wasn't a very hard shove. I'd have to make the next move. Okay. But to do that, I'd have to know what I really want, so I'd know what to say when I talk to her. A week ago, that would have been no problem. A player would just tell her anything she wanted to hear to get her legs to spread. Leading her on would be a great way to get everything from her, fuck her non-stop, ruin her marriage, knock her up and then dump her—the player's dream. But the more I thought about it, about how I really felt about her, the worse I felt about doing anything like that. What do I really want?I woke up in the middle of the night from a vivid dream—pretty little Ainsely telling me to get out and don't come back. The pain in my heart by just the thought of that in a dream made me understand I didn't just want to toy with her anymore. How could I let that girl get to me? The thought wouldn't leave me alone. What if she leaves me hanging, wanting her,.
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