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Especially the times when I get the urge to simply kill myself, I think about how much you kept me from being the person I really am inside. Although your buying me a Raggedy Ann doll when I was little gave me hope that someday you'd understand me. Understand that even in my dreams when I'm asleep, I'm a girl.Even during potty training you might recall that I preferred to use to the public stalls and sit down to pee, even if I had to wait for a free stall. That is something I kept up right up to first grade. Then I only went standing when I had to.While I did play with matchbox cars and such, I preferred games of dress up with your high heels, make up when alone over games like backyard football. Feeling like a couldn't talk to you about my feelings at the time because I love you and knew it would of embarrassed you, I could never bring myself to ask for the canopied bed I wanted the first time you asked me to pick out a bed. Leaving me to settle for the bunk beds. I couldn't bring. To comfort herself she decided to close her eyes and drift into her favorite fantasy.She could see herself in the mirror, tied to the old wooden chair, legs spread, breasts bare, her long dark hair curling around her shoulders and waist. She tilted her head back and laid it against the hard, tight stomach behind her. He was standing there with his hands on her head, stroking her hair. His hands were rough, callused and not gentle. She arched her back as they rasped down across her shoulders and bare breasts; nipples hardening as he roughly handled them. In the bed she lifted her own hand and slowly ran it up under her shirt and across her breasts smiling as she felt that her nipples were as hard in real life as they were in the mirror in her mind. The man behind her blindfolds her and then unties her from the chair. He leads her to a bed and lies her down on her back. She can’t see anything, can only feel and hear. He ties each of her hands to the posts of the bed, then.
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