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”Another twitch. That overnight was a couple of weeks after Heather’s pool party. Jim and I were outside in sleeping bags. Jim’s sister and Sam were inside the house. I definitely remembered that part of the night, especially the little performance Jim and I had given in front of Ana María’s bedroom window when we’d saluted the girls in the way teenage boys do best.“Things are changing. I know that. I like it, but I’m scared, too. Can you understand that?”She looked at me, not blinking.“I don’t want you for myself. I know you have your friends. I have mine. I know you sometimes do stuff with other girls and I don’t care. I just want us to be friends. I want you to be me, sort of. I want to be you.”A pause.“No, that’s stupid. What I mean is, I want us to be a team, like always.”I was trying to think about this and not getting very far. Aside from that little twitch or two earlier, I wasn’t hard. Was I sick?I know I’ve spent a lot of time talking about breasts and bottoms and smooth. . as one! Then Wendy asked me point blank if I had ever been in bed with a negro before? I did not know what to say, and wanting to sound a bit more worldly than I was, had blurted out, first that no I had not slept with a black male? But due to the fact that my husband and our current sex life was pretty dull, and that he was not very well endowed or creative as a lover much less one that had kinky interests! And that this had forced me to resort to thoughts of dark sexual fantasies, some I had, and others I found on the internet in order to get off when I masturbated or during most of our uninspiring sex play! Then without thinking had said out loud, mostly to myself, because I was so horny and unsatisfied That I wished I could have found a black lover like Jean Louis and to be forced by black girlfriend like Elfie who helped in three way, This thought had me so wet and turned on I was besides myself! I had never been with another woman before and had not realized until now that I.
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