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• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he canstop any time• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.• When chemists die, they barium.• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.• Velcro - what a rip off!• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTSGod went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’The Arabs asked, ‘What. Behind her was the lime green mass of straightened hair that came down to her waist, almost like a cloak around her shoulders. Lucy rushed down from the third floor to greet her friend at the door, her fingers running over the polished wood of the banister. She bolted across the black slate and unlocked the old-fashioned bolt lock. The heavy oak door swung open. ‘Hey! Waddup, Luce?’ Elizabeth said, leaning against one side of the doorframe, arms crossed and with a queer smirk on her lips. ‘It’s good to see you,’ Lucy replied with a grin, ushering Elizabeth inside. ‘Yeah, I’ve missed that little arse of yours.’ Lucy rolled her eyes and closed the door behind them. Elizabeth had been there so often, that it was almost like a second home. She was dressed in the usual witch attire: a black silk blouse, a black skirt that came down just above her knees and a pair of black stockings, worn traditionally as high as her thighs. Elizabeth climbed the creaky stairs and led the way to Lucy’s.
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