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All rights to YOUNG BESS are, of course,retained by the author.YOUNG BESS ? PART TWOBy Jane HowardI reached the Montfort Estate late in the afternoon to find the kitchenstaff in the midst of preparing the main meal of the day. I handed myletter to a plain looking young scullery maid named Mary, explainingthat it was my letter of introduction to Mrs. Norton and that it was myhope to find employment with Mr. Montfort.She was pleasant enough but cautioned that I would most likely have towait in the small yard until the dinner being prepared for the Masterand his guests had been dealt with.After she disappeared into the depths of the bustling kitchen fromwhere I stood I could hear the clatter of silver and plates being drawndown from the shelves. I could smell the combining odors of meatcooking on the hearth and vegetable dishes boiling in the pots.I'd not eaten anything in over a day by that time and was quitefamished. How I longed for a bit of bread and cheese to assuage myhunger!. What do you say to that?"The Englishman replied,"Awfully sporting of your mother, old chap!"This one is compliments of Misguided ChildA businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except ... the MagicPenis!'The husband said, 'The what'?The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis, ' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis, door!'The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.The husband bought it.
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